“Being a parent is telling your kids that your ‘medicine’ aka candy is what makes mommy happy and your children tell grandma that they want the medicine that makes mommy feel good.”
I remember when I was a much younger young lady and how much trouble my mouth use to get me into. I could talk your ear off from sun up to sun down and not have a glass of water to quench my throat in-between. My mother would always tell me what goes on in her house stayed in her house. Back then was different from today’s issues. When I was younger my mother wanted her conversations about the next-door neighbor nosey Jane and the man she was sneaking around with not to be repeated outside the house. Now that I have my own children I find myself saying the same thing. I really had to start censoring what I say around my kids when my first born was born. He used to repeat everything to my mother and it sometimes was not the nicest thing.
Is it still okay to say, “What happens in the house stays in the house?” I still believe that privacy is the key to a happy life but with so much social media in this era, what should be kept in the house and what shouldn’t be? There is so much that goes on inside many households that we as parents may not think bothers our children, but it might be doing that very thing. For example, couples argue right? Of course, we do. We are human. Some people even feel as if you don’t argue in a relationship then you don’t love each other. I did not know my oldest son had a problem with arguing until I found out he was talking to his school counselor about how he felt. My son thought that whenever me and my significant other argued that we were arguing about him. Now of course we were not arguing about him. But we also did not realize that it was bothering him either. Hearing him tell me how he felt broke my heart because never in a million years did I want to hurt him. After a few minutes of thinking about how to approach the idea I went with the “straight-forward” solution. Which I feel will always be the best approach in my household because at a certain point in time a child will know and pick up on the BS. I sat my son down on the couch and explained to him that just because me and daddy argue did not mean that it was about him. I explained that grown up will argue from time to time, but we still love each other. I explained to him that from now on we would try and keep our arguments in private where he would not be able to hear. I also reassured him that if he had anything to talk to me about I preferred him to talk to me about it first because I wouldn’t have known how he felt if it was not for his counselor. I still encouraged him to talk to his counselor because I know some things children just can’t go to there parents about.
So, to sum it all up I learned this week that there should always be an open communication with children just to make sure everything is going in the direction it should be going. I also learned to never tell you kids that candy is medicine. It will save you from an hour-long rant from your mother about how drugs are not good for you and how you will be spending the next few lifetimes sitting in the front pew of your family church.